Coping

He tasted like the sea,
And smelled like his soap.
Our lips wrestled one another,
Fighting for dominance.
And he claimed every sweet spot,
As I gasped and shivered underneath him,
Praying I could have this control one day.
I tried to find meaning between my thighs
Within my flesh, within my grasp.
As I pushed into each of his thrusts,
It materialized,
Nascent and fragile,
In front of my eyes,
And centered, strengthened inside my core.
My body hummed with excitement,
Because it knew, because it remembered,
Finally feeling alive, feeling free,
And I began to believe again.
But it shattered into a million stars,
My body died a little, I couldn't breathe,
He knocked me senseless,
Before I could comprehend it.
Becoming too much to consume,
Too much to understand,
And I was left undone, left moaning,
Lost within the rushing waves of our existence.
More so than when I first invited him in.
Once he rolled off, I felt so alone again.
It slipped out between my fingers,
Disappearing as his breathing deepened.
Lying beside him, I wait
Hungrily impatient
To try again, to climb up
And chase down the reason for living.