Conflict

Tears fill up my eyes when
You look at me and say that I am good
In all sense of the word and more
You know that I am perfect and wonderful
A masterpiece
I am Yours
But it breaks my heart because it must wreak
Yours, knowing that
I don't believe You.
I realize that You don't lie
But it's hard to see the truth
When all I see is a dreadful mess
Wrapped up in a carcass of a body
That You died for.
Your blood was spilled to nourish this tree
To bear the world fruit
But the weeds at my feet
Are slowly growing, slithering
Upwards, with plans to choke me
To deprive me of Your word
In order to mangle my thoughts
Into sharp swords that will
Kill me from the inside out
And the worst of it all
Is that I can't hear You
I can't feel You at times
When You promised that You will never leave me
No matter how many times I have forsaken You
Have I reached the limit?
Is that why You're not here?
Am I at the bottom of the depths?
Is that why Your voice can't reach me?
I dare You to contradict me
I dare You to prove me wrong
I dare You because
I need You