Confessions 2.0

I'm gonna tell the truth now.

My best friend is Insecurity. It has been with me since forever. There was no me without it lurking behind my smile and my eyes. It was my shadow and became my world in the absence of light.

Although I suspected its bad influence, I clung to Insecurity because it told me I couldn't do any better. It said I had nothing to offer being me, so I stayed and fed on its lies. But the way I ate its words, you could have sworn that I thought they were truth, that they were real.

And during the feast, I forgot that you became what you eat.

Insecurity did not stop there. It wanted all of me and did not want to share. It superimposed itself onto my other relationships, creating puppets out of those I loved, who unconsciously kept me mastered and within its grasp. I could not escape when others showed its reflection of me. And the sad part of it all is when we slipped into reality, when we drifted from Insecurity's script and they spoke the real truth, I was too warped to believe anything else.

We were joined at the hip. Actually, it was more serious than that. We shared the same body. I was Insecurity personified.

My best friend is Insecurity but I really have to let it go because I want to love without the fear of the expiration date. I want to court life, not while tied up by strings but on my own two feet and of my own accord. I want to do many things but mostly I want to be me. Not me and it. Just me.

Because it's time to start being on my side.

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