This is to the boy I walked away from; to the boy I glanced at and realized: "Hey, you're funny. You're cute too," and proceeded to shut down all the ways to know him, all the ways he could have known me.
I wasn't ready to get to know him, to be friends with him because I believed in my clairvoyant abilities. I still do. I can see the future at the beginning and make a decision to either take the risk or not. And I looked at this beautiful and kind boy and said, "No, you're not worth the rejection, the pain. You're not worth a broken heart."
I wasn't ready to be a friend to a guy who made my heart flutter again. I've been burned before, and I wasn't willing to get scorched again. I still smelled of the last fire. The burns still flared. So I built this wall around me and avoided looking at him when he was anywhere near me. My lips were so tight in his presence; I wasn't willing to bloom, to be me. I kept myself budded up, wounded up in flight.
What he must think of me, if he even does, I can't blame him at all. I cringed whenever I saw him because it was better than letting my heart make a fool of myself again.
Years later, I still think of him. He's become the ideal, the idol of what I want of a man. The limited moments of when I allowed myself to see him, I gathered pieces of his personality and fashioned him on this pedestal, and he's become the standard. He's become this icon that is as real as the risk when I got a first good look at him all those years before.
So I've created even more of a chasm between the two of us. I made him in the image of all that I could never deserve. In my mind, perfection has become his defense. He is perfect. Who I created him to be is perfect, and I cannot get to know this creation. It isn't real. He is not real.
I'm running away from a phantom. And I have got to stop.
I'm sorry that I didn't get over my fear to know you. I'm sorry I never got to love you as a friend, as a person, as a real person with your own dreams and desires, with your own fears and insecurities. I'm sorry that I never thought that you were worth the risk because you are worth to be seen, to be known, to be loved as a real person even if you never loved me back in the way I wanted.
I wish I can get over you to know you- the real you. I hope I can because of all the things I've made up about you, there's one thing I know for sure. You are beautiful and kind. I wish that didn't scare me off. I wish it did what it was made to do- draw me near you.
Maybe it will.
Exodus 4
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Last chapter, God comes down and reveals to Moses that He will be using him to deliver the Israelites.
God has come prepared. He has a plan, and He's waiting for Moses to co-sign on the execution.
However, Moses wants nothing to do with it and tries to dissuade God from using him; but He doesn't budge. Moses' excuses did not matter because like He said in the beginning, "I will be with you."
The Great I AM said, "I will be with you," and all Moses could focus on was his resume, his failures, his shortcomings.
Moses was pretty self-centered and couldn't see beyond himself to realize that God could and would take care of everything that would trip him up.
What if they don't believe me? "Here are three signs that you can show them."
What if the pharaoh doesn't listen? "I know he won't, and I'll show him to obey."
What if the words fail me? "Who gave you your mouth? Was it not I?"
God remains patient through Moses' babbling because none of it mattered.
His reputation didn't matter.
His rap sheet didn't matter.
His stutter didn't matter.
God knows who He calls. He's unsurprised by our hang-ups and short-comings. He knows and still chooses us, still wants us.
There is nothing in us too broken that cannot be redeemed by God. There is nothing in us too broken that can stop God's power from working through us. Nothing.
But Moses doesn't know that. All he sees is himself, which obscures his vision of the living God. So God sends Aaron his brother to shield Moses from confronting his fears and insecurities upfront.
With his comfort zone intact, Moses goes back to Egypt with his family, and his wife saves him from the wrath of God by circumcising her son. Afterwards, he meets with Aaron in the desert to rehearse the plan.
And the fourth chapter ends with God's plan unfolding the way He planned.
God has come prepared. He has a plan, and He's waiting for Moses to co-sign on the execution.
However, Moses wants nothing to do with it and tries to dissuade God from using him; but He doesn't budge. Moses' excuses did not matter because like He said in the beginning, "I will be with you."
The Great I AM said, "I will be with you," and all Moses could focus on was his resume, his failures, his shortcomings.
Moses was pretty self-centered and couldn't see beyond himself to realize that God could and would take care of everything that would trip him up.
What if they don't believe me? "Here are three signs that you can show them."
What if the pharaoh doesn't listen? "I know he won't, and I'll show him to obey."
What if the words fail me? "Who gave you your mouth? Was it not I?"
God remains patient through Moses' babbling because none of it mattered.
His reputation didn't matter.
His rap sheet didn't matter.
His stutter didn't matter.
God knows who He calls. He's unsurprised by our hang-ups and short-comings. He knows and still chooses us, still wants us.
There is nothing in us too broken that cannot be redeemed by God. There is nothing in us too broken that can stop God's power from working through us. Nothing.
But Moses doesn't know that. All he sees is himself, which obscures his vision of the living God. So God sends Aaron his brother to shield Moses from confronting his fears and insecurities upfront.
With his comfort zone intact, Moses goes back to Egypt with his family, and his wife saves him from the wrath of God by circumcising her son. Afterwards, he meets with Aaron in the desert to rehearse the plan.
And the fourth chapter ends with God's plan unfolding the way He planned.
Exodus 3
Sunday, December 23, 2018
I've written on Exodus 3 and heard about Exodus 3 many times that I can regurgitate something without rereading the passage. And sometimes that can happen to us, where we become familiar with something that we don't expect to learn or experience anything new. We rely on the old, but God is always going to the next, doing something new.
It takes humility and a working sense of wonder or expectation to be surprised; to let go of the old and lean into the unknown. To say, "Here I am," with an open and willing heart. To not get sucked into the comfort of yesterday.
I could go on with the analogies, but I'll stop to say that the word, God's word is alive and well. It's been approached a hundred billion times and it's as fresh as when God first spoke, "Let there be light." If you allow it, the bible won't become a routine. It's too sharp for that.
Talking about routine, Moses is stuck in one. He tends to his father-in-law's sheep until he sees a burning bush. And not one to mind his own business, Moses draws close to the phenomenon because the bush is on fire but not burning up.
Nosy man!
When he draws close, God calls out and orders him to remove his sandals because he just entered a holy space; he just entered the Holies of Holy.
(Because of the cross, I pray that we all realize that because God chooses to rest in us, we are holy; we are set apart not because of anything we do or anything we are but because He is here in us. We are not ordinary humans taking up space. We are His home.)
Then God shares with Moses that He's heard and seen what His people have gone through, and He plans on sending Moses down there to set everything straight.
Next, Moses says what anyone in their "right" mind would say when the Creator extends an invitation to join Him on a thrilling (horrifying) adventure: "Who me?"
And God says, "I will be with you," but He also says the best line I think He has ever said when Moses asks for a calling card. With these next few words, I see God speaking into a mega phone and dropping it because what else needs to be said when He says this: "I AM WHO I AM."
Chills. every. single. time.
It's a full explanation even when it feels like it's not.
He is who He is.
He's the one that has seen that and has heard this and still chose to send His Son to the cross to die for a sinner like me and you.
He's the one who does exceedingly and abundantly all that we can ask or think. He is better than we've imagined too.
He's the one who spoke the world into existence, and at the mention of His name, all knees will bow down and all tongues will confess that He is Lord because there is no one like Him anywhere else in the universe.
And so much more. His name holds all that, all of His story, His being, His power.
Yahweh: I AM WHO I AM.
And He comes in the form of a burning bush to meet with a man who, as we will see next chapter, has written himself off.
But we'll see that God has a plan.
Remember that the next time He asks you to come along with Him on a journey you don't feel quite equipped to do.
It takes humility and a working sense of wonder or expectation to be surprised; to let go of the old and lean into the unknown. To say, "Here I am," with an open and willing heart. To not get sucked into the comfort of yesterday.
I could go on with the analogies, but I'll stop to say that the word, God's word is alive and well. It's been approached a hundred billion times and it's as fresh as when God first spoke, "Let there be light." If you allow it, the bible won't become a routine. It's too sharp for that.
Talking about routine, Moses is stuck in one. He tends to his father-in-law's sheep until he sees a burning bush. And not one to mind his own business, Moses draws close to the phenomenon because the bush is on fire but not burning up.
Nosy man!
When he draws close, God calls out and orders him to remove his sandals because he just entered a holy space; he just entered the Holies of Holy.
(Because of the cross, I pray that we all realize that because God chooses to rest in us, we are holy; we are set apart not because of anything we do or anything we are but because He is here in us. We are not ordinary humans taking up space. We are His home.)
Then God shares with Moses that He's heard and seen what His people have gone through, and He plans on sending Moses down there to set everything straight.
Next, Moses says what anyone in their "right" mind would say when the Creator extends an invitation to join Him on a thrilling (horrifying) adventure: "Who me?"
And God says, "I will be with you," but He also says the best line I think He has ever said when Moses asks for a calling card. With these next few words, I see God speaking into a mega phone and dropping it because what else needs to be said when He says this: "I AM WHO I AM."
Chills. every. single. time.
It's a full explanation even when it feels like it's not.
He is who He is.
He's the one that has seen that and has heard this and still chose to send His Son to the cross to die for a sinner like me and you.
He's the one who does exceedingly and abundantly all that we can ask or think. He is better than we've imagined too.
He's the one who spoke the world into existence, and at the mention of His name, all knees will bow down and all tongues will confess that He is Lord because there is no one like Him anywhere else in the universe.
And so much more. His name holds all that, all of His story, His being, His power.
Yahweh: I AM WHO I AM.
And He comes in the form of a burning bush to meet with a man who, as we will see next chapter, has written himself off.
But we'll see that God has a plan.
Remember that the next time He asks you to come along with Him on a journey you don't feel quite equipped to do.
Exodus 2:11-25
Saturday, December 22, 2018
Moses, the adopted son of the pharaoh's daughter, grows up. And he goes through quite a bit of growing pains in this part of his story.
He peeps on an Egyptian beating on a fellow Hebrew, and he kills the offender when it seems as though no one sees. But someone did. The very next day, he sees a pair of Hebrews fighting. He tries to intervene, but the offending one turns on Moses and accuses, "Are you gonna kill me like you killed the Egyptian?"
That statement shakes Moses to the core, but not as much as what happens next.
The pharaoh finds out and wants to kill Moses, but Moses runs into the desert because he is no fool.
But he doesn't stop with the intervening. Luckily this time is a charm. When he helps the women water their flock, they bring him to their father's home for some hospitality and a wife (and a little while later, a son too)!
Cut back to Egypt: the Israelites are miserable under the yoke of slavery imposed by the Egyptians, and they cry out to God.
God hears, He sees and He remembers His covenant to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He's about to make moves in Exodus 3.
God is literally the God of promises, and He's a keeper of promises. He's the God of fulfilled promises. But in this chapter, when I read "His covenant to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob," I see that He's willing to go the distance with His promises. In Genesis 15, He told Abraham, "I'll make you the father of nations," which in and of itself is a huge promise. So huge that He said it again to Isaac, then again to Jacob.
(What mantle does He want to fulfill in you? In your family? In your generation?)
He doesn't mind reminding us of what He wants to do in us and through us. He doesn't want us to forget that what He has planned for us is so much bigger than us, and it doesn't start or end with us. It begins with Him. It also ends with Him.
We just get to be a part of the story.
He peeps on an Egyptian beating on a fellow Hebrew, and he kills the offender when it seems as though no one sees. But someone did. The very next day, he sees a pair of Hebrews fighting. He tries to intervene, but the offending one turns on Moses and accuses, "Are you gonna kill me like you killed the Egyptian?"
That statement shakes Moses to the core, but not as much as what happens next.
The pharaoh finds out and wants to kill Moses, but Moses runs into the desert because he is no fool.
But he doesn't stop with the intervening. Luckily this time is a charm. When he helps the women water their flock, they bring him to their father's home for some hospitality and a wife (and a little while later, a son too)!
Cut back to Egypt: the Israelites are miserable under the yoke of slavery imposed by the Egyptians, and they cry out to God.
God hears, He sees and He remembers His covenant to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He's about to make moves in Exodus 3.
God is literally the God of promises, and He's a keeper of promises. He's the God of fulfilled promises. But in this chapter, when I read "His covenant to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob," I see that He's willing to go the distance with His promises. In Genesis 15, He told Abraham, "I'll make you the father of nations," which in and of itself is a huge promise. So huge that He said it again to Isaac, then again to Jacob.
(What mantle does He want to fulfill in you? In your family? In your generation?)
He doesn't mind reminding us of what He wants to do in us and through us. He doesn't want us to forget that what He has planned for us is so much bigger than us, and it doesn't start or end with us. It begins with Him. It also ends with Him.
We just get to be a part of the story.
Exodus 2:1-10
Friday, December 21, 2018
Second day of this journey, and when I opened up the bible this morning, I wondered what if I don't get anything today like I did yesterday, should I still come here and write, and I think I should.
Discipline doesn't come with feelings or revelations; it comes through the grueling ordinary, through normal's mundane.
So here we go!
In the beginning of Exodus 2, a boy met a girl and married her. Their second child was a boy, and remember that they were under the mandate of killing all the Hebrew boys. But the mother couldn't cast him off into the Nile to die. Instead she kept him for three months, and when she couldn't hide him anymore, she hid him among the reeds in a sturdy basket.
His sister, however, couldn't let him go. She stayed nearby and came in close when the pharaoh's daughter found the baby boy among the reed. The sister then proposed that she find a nurse for the child, and the pharaoh's daughter agreed, and the mother and the baby are united again for a little while.
In the Daily Grace Co. devotional, she wrote that the pharaoh set out to kill the sons but underestimated the daughters, and that truth just warms my heart. And not only that, but there's nothing that can take us out; there will always be a way out for us. In this case, the women were the way out of the pharaoh's cruelty.
However, I want to land on the incredible sacrifice of the mother: she had to let go of Moses twice in hopes that he would have a better life away from her. She couldn't envision what would come of her baby boy; who would have thought that her son would be adopted into royalty, into the same royal family that demanded his death?
No, in her reality was certain misery if Moses would have stayed with her, that's what she knew for sure. But the rest was faith and hope.
To let go is to be filled with faith and hope that on the other side of the unknown is better than the known and even the imagined that's in our heads.
Discipline doesn't come with feelings or revelations; it comes through the grueling ordinary, through normal's mundane.
So here we go!
In the beginning of Exodus 2, a boy met a girl and married her. Their second child was a boy, and remember that they were under the mandate of killing all the Hebrew boys. But the mother couldn't cast him off into the Nile to die. Instead she kept him for three months, and when she couldn't hide him anymore, she hid him among the reeds in a sturdy basket.
His sister, however, couldn't let him go. She stayed nearby and came in close when the pharaoh's daughter found the baby boy among the reed. The sister then proposed that she find a nurse for the child, and the pharaoh's daughter agreed, and the mother and the baby are united again for a little while.
In the Daily Grace Co. devotional, she wrote that the pharaoh set out to kill the sons but underestimated the daughters, and that truth just warms my heart. And not only that, but there's nothing that can take us out; there will always be a way out for us. In this case, the women were the way out of the pharaoh's cruelty.
However, I want to land on the incredible sacrifice of the mother: she had to let go of Moses twice in hopes that he would have a better life away from her. She couldn't envision what would come of her baby boy; who would have thought that her son would be adopted into royalty, into the same royal family that demanded his death?
No, in her reality was certain misery if Moses would have stayed with her, that's what she knew for sure. But the rest was faith and hope.
To let go is to be filled with faith and hope that on the other side of the unknown is better than the known and even the imagined that's in our heads.
Exodus 1
Thursday, December 20, 2018
I'm doing a bible study from Daily Daily Co., and I thought that sharing on here what I'm learning will help me be consistent in both my devotional and my blog.
Today, I delved into Exodus 1, where the Israelites settled into Egypt after a famine nearly wiped them out. In this next phase, they grew into the promise of God, fruitful and multiplying in a land that was not their own.
And the pharaoh, who did not know the Joseph who saved the nation, nor the God who blessed the Israelites, peeped this progress, noticed the fulfillment of the promise, and grew fearful. Because he did not know God, he became afraid of what God was doing in the Israelites and was convinced that their growth would be detrimental to Egypt, not realizing that he took a step towards completing the self-fulfilling prophecy when he enslaved the foreigners.
Yet, they just grew even more under the oppression. As the Egyptians watched the Israelites' multiply, the pharaoh came up with a more sinister plan to cripple the Israelites: kill off their baby boys.
All this because he saw their potential, he saw God's blessing although he knew nothing about God or His plan.
And this moment in their history wasn't the only time that the enemy had a better gauge on what the Israelites could do, or what God could do in them.
In Numbers 13, the spies were convinced that they were like grasshoppers to the giants that occupied Canaan.
Yet a few chapters later, the Moabites looked over the cliff and in every direction, the Israelites camped out on every inch of the sand that the land could not be seen by the Moabites.
In Joshua 2, the two spies went into the fortified city, Jericho, and found that they were terrified of the Israelites; God wasn't telling a lie: Jericho was theirs for the taking.
There are many instances where the Israelites underestimated what God could do through them; but not their enemies.
The enemies saw clearly; they sometimes had a better vantage point than the Israelites and tried their hardest to throw them off track. The Egyptians threw everything at the Israelites, and God still blessed them through the hardship, through the oppression.
The king of Moab paid someone to curse them, and God gave the man words of blessings to speak over the Israelites.
God can still bless you in the unexpected place and in the hard place. Your oppression and difficulties do not and cannot stop Him from doing a work in you.
When it's hard, it is not silly to believe that He can still do exceedingly, abundantly more than you can ask or imagine.
Yes, in the impossible place, in the discomfort between the rock and a hard place, God will meet you here, guide you here, help you here. He'll save you here.
Today, I delved into Exodus 1, where the Israelites settled into Egypt after a famine nearly wiped them out. In this next phase, they grew into the promise of God, fruitful and multiplying in a land that was not their own.
And the pharaoh, who did not know the Joseph who saved the nation, nor the God who blessed the Israelites, peeped this progress, noticed the fulfillment of the promise, and grew fearful. Because he did not know God, he became afraid of what God was doing in the Israelites and was convinced that their growth would be detrimental to Egypt, not realizing that he took a step towards completing the self-fulfilling prophecy when he enslaved the foreigners.
Yet, they just grew even more under the oppression. As the Egyptians watched the Israelites' multiply, the pharaoh came up with a more sinister plan to cripple the Israelites: kill off their baby boys.
All this because he saw their potential, he saw God's blessing although he knew nothing about God or His plan.
And this moment in their history wasn't the only time that the enemy had a better gauge on what the Israelites could do, or what God could do in them.
In Numbers 13, the spies were convinced that they were like grasshoppers to the giants that occupied Canaan.
Yet a few chapters later, the Moabites looked over the cliff and in every direction, the Israelites camped out on every inch of the sand that the land could not be seen by the Moabites.
In Joshua 2, the two spies went into the fortified city, Jericho, and found that they were terrified of the Israelites; God wasn't telling a lie: Jericho was theirs for the taking.
There are many instances where the Israelites underestimated what God could do through them; but not their enemies.
The enemies saw clearly; they sometimes had a better vantage point than the Israelites and tried their hardest to throw them off track. The Egyptians threw everything at the Israelites, and God still blessed them through the hardship, through the oppression.
The king of Moab paid someone to curse them, and God gave the man words of blessings to speak over the Israelites.
God can still bless you in the unexpected place and in the hard place. Your oppression and difficulties do not and cannot stop Him from doing a work in you.
When it's hard, it is not silly to believe that He can still do exceedingly, abundantly more than you can ask or imagine.
Yes, in the impossible place, in the discomfort between the rock and a hard place, God will meet you here, guide you here, help you here. He'll save you here.
The Wilderness, The Desolate Places
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
I've been reading through the Gospels the past few weeks- well to the best of my abilities. Sometimes I would stop halfway through a book because responsibilities pulled me away, but there's been a recurring subject that has been catching my eye: the desolate places.
It felt as though every chapter we would find Jesus in a desolate place, praying and resting. Before He started His ministry, the Holy Spirit led Him into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
Jesus is not afraid of the wilderness. Time and again, we will find Him in a place of seclusion to be recharged.
But I don't think it really sunk in how much- dare I say it- how much God loves the quiet place until I skimmed through the first two verses of Luke 3.
Whenever I see a list of names in the Bible, my eyes glaze over. I am not the one to look through genealogy. If there's no story, I won't stay.
Yet this time I did- I lingered, I stayed- and I learned something.
The first two verses hold six names: Tiberius Caesar, Pontius Pilate, Herod, Philip, Lysanias and Annas.
These aren't just any six names; these six names represented men who held power in the time right before Jesus was baptized. These men had the authority that shaped the climate, the rules of Israel. And I'm not the only one who bypassed them. God did too.
God's word didn't stay and announce itself to any of those leaders. It went over all their heads to get to John the Baptist in the wilderness.
No red tape for God. He didn't ask for permission or go through the correct channels to speak to John. If God can get to John in the desert, He can easily get to you.
God knows how to find you. He doesn't have to go through people to get to you or ask for permission. And neither do you. You don't need to be in position of power or authority to receive God's word.
No seminary necessary. No ministry required. No seat in some church committee needed.
You can meet Him on the outside. God doesn't mind.
He will meet you in the wilderness. Outside the hustle and bustle. Outside of the city. He will meet you in the quiet of your room. In the wreckage your worries left behind. In the mess, in the misery.
Our God can even meet with you in the graveyard.
God wants to meet with you- out in the margins.
The outskirts, the desolate places are not beneath Him. Even there He will be.
The only position you need is the position of your heart: are you willing to listen, to obey? If so, there He will be.
It felt as though every chapter we would find Jesus in a desolate place, praying and resting. Before He started His ministry, the Holy Spirit led Him into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
Jesus is not afraid of the wilderness. Time and again, we will find Him in a place of seclusion to be recharged.
But I don't think it really sunk in how much- dare I say it- how much God loves the quiet place until I skimmed through the first two verses of Luke 3.
Whenever I see a list of names in the Bible, my eyes glaze over. I am not the one to look through genealogy. If there's no story, I won't stay.
Yet this time I did- I lingered, I stayed- and I learned something.
The first two verses hold six names: Tiberius Caesar, Pontius Pilate, Herod, Philip, Lysanias and Annas.
These aren't just any six names; these six names represented men who held power in the time right before Jesus was baptized. These men had the authority that shaped the climate, the rules of Israel. And I'm not the only one who bypassed them. God did too.
God's word didn't stay and announce itself to any of those leaders. It went over all their heads to get to John the Baptist in the wilderness.
No red tape for God. He didn't ask for permission or go through the correct channels to speak to John. If God can get to John in the desert, He can easily get to you.
God knows how to find you. He doesn't have to go through people to get to you or ask for permission. And neither do you. You don't need to be in position of power or authority to receive God's word.
No seminary necessary. No ministry required. No seat in some church committee needed.
You can meet Him on the outside. God doesn't mind.
He will meet you in the wilderness. Outside the hustle and bustle. Outside of the city. He will meet you in the quiet of your room. In the wreckage your worries left behind. In the mess, in the misery.
Our God can even meet with you in the graveyard.
God wants to meet with you- out in the margins.
The outskirts, the desolate places are not beneath Him. Even there He will be.
The only position you need is the position of your heart: are you willing to listen, to obey? If so, there He will be.
Dear Forgotten One
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
You are not forgotten.
It may seem like it. Only you know how long you’ve been where you are, stuck and on repeat.
It’s easy to think nothing in your corner is moving when those outside of it speed through milestones that you haven’t reached yet, that you’re not even sure will happen in your lifetime. (Maybe in another one or maybe if you had unlimited time, but definitely not within this current timeframe.)
As time whiplashes you, I want to remind you that you are not forgotten. When eyes overlook you, rendering you invisible, remember that you are seen.
When the phone doesn’t ring, and opportunity hits up everyone else and their mamas, you still matter. You are important. No matter what is happening (or not), the world would be a different place without you.
You matter.
And your feelings matter as well, but there is a greater reality beyond what you are experiencing: God sees you, and He knows you. He knows the good plans that He has for you, and those plans, full of hope, will unfold in His timing: His good and perfect timing.
But His clock works a bit differently than ours. He lives outside the construct of time; He lives in eternity. So when you’re waiting for Him sometimes it feels as though God comes through just around the midnight hour. He slides in right before you lose that last flimsy thread of hope, yet... yet you’ll always realize He’s never late: God is always right on time.
Never early, but He won’t leave you hanging.
I know what you’re thinking: where is He though?
Well, I don’t think you need to worry about where God is. It’s not something that needs to be questioned. His location has never changed. Everything around you may fluctuate, yet the truth remains that God is with you, forever. He is working on your behalf, forever.
He will leave you never.
Don’t believe me?
In Numbers 22, while the Israelites rested from battle, a neighboring nation, Moab, has been filled with dread because the Israelites overtook the surrounding land. Balak, a Moabite, summons Balaam, a person who was able to curse and bless people, and he wanted Balaam to curse the Israelites so that he may destroy them before they overtook his home.
And God opposed Balaam every step of the way. From the moment Balaam received the Moabite’s message, God told him not to curse what He has blessed. God even used a talking donkey to deter that man from going against His chosen people.
A talking donkey!
But Balaam didn’t listen and kept it moving right to the point where he stood on the mountaintop with Balak, overlooking the Israelites who “cover[ed] the face of the earth.”
And after setting up the scene with his seven burnt offerings, the Moabite expectantly looked to Balaam. Surely, the oracle will curse the opposing nation.
He didn’t. Three times Balaam approached God, expecting a different answer, and he returned each time to say the same thing, “Bless the Israelites.” And on top of that, Balaam cursed the Moabites and everyone else who wanted to see the Israelites destroyed.
To say the least, Balak was pissed off. He offered many riches to the diviner, yet nothing changed. And the Israelites were none the wiser.
They were chilling in the valley, not knowing what was going on overhead. They were covered; they were protected. A weapon was formed, but it did not prosper because God was with them.
It may seem like nothing is happening in your world, but you have no clue what God is doing behind the scenes. In the stillness, in the quiet, God is working for your good. Even in the moments when frustration and desperation have a chokehold on you, your answer is on the way.
In Daniel 10, a vision devastated Daniel, and he didn't eat or drink anything fancy for three weeks. He didn't even lotion himself; he stayed ashy for nearly a month. And while he mourned about the vision's content, no answer came forth.
Radio silence until the 24th day (three days after he used moisturizer-- and yes that matters, I am sure of it). An angel came with an answer, but also an explanation: The Persian kingdom held him up. He would have shown up the moment that Daniel sought God's face, however, it was out of his control. Persia had to be handled. Daniel was not forgotten- the answer was in transit.
In Daniel 10, a vision devastated Daniel, and he didn't eat or drink anything fancy for three weeks. He didn't even lotion himself; he stayed ashy for nearly a month. And while he mourned about the vision's content, no answer came forth.
Radio silence until the 24th day (three days after he used moisturizer-- and yes that matters, I am sure of it). An angel came with an answer, but also an explanation: The Persian kingdom held him up. He would have shown up the moment that Daniel sought God's face, however, it was out of his control. Persia had to be handled. Daniel was not forgotten- the answer was in transit.
Don’t give in to the lie that you are forgotten, that you are unseen, that you don’t matter. The moment you turned your heart towards God, the moment you called out His name, He came running towards you. It may seem that He is slow in answering, but you can trust that the breakthrough, the opportunity is coming.
Besides how could He forget you when He gave up everything to be with you? When He etched you on the palm of His hands?
To Him, you are unforgettable.
Don’t forget that.
Perfect Conditions: Dried Up, Empty, Formless
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
One thing that I love about God is His power of resurrection, His power of creation.
In the beginning, He hovered over the unformed earth, undeterred by the chaos and darkness. In Ezekiel, He stood in a graveyard, unbothered by the dead and the decay.
God doesn’t stand far from what drives us crazy: the half-baked plans, the discarded dreams, the uncertainty, the unknown. He draws in close to the things we want to hide. God loves the mystery, the insecurities, the doubts because He knows the answer to all of these, including the fear.
He is the solution. God is the answer; it’s as simple as that.
It was never up to us alone to do what He has called us to do. The earth didn’t create light and divide night from day on its own, and neither did the Israelites revive themselves and shake off their grave clothes.
God did that.
Not once has He asked of anyone or anything to do something beyond their pay grade.
All He has asked was for us to believe Him to do what He said.
The new fledging planet could do nothing but receive His word, “Let there by light.” The cemetery had no clue that among the gravestones stood Life Himself, ready with the command that would invite living breath back into those dried bones.
In darkness, light shone through. In death, life came to reign. It didn’t make sense.
It still doesn’t have to make sense; if God’s promise did, then we wouldn’t need Him. We would just go ahead and accomplish it ourselves.
But what is hope if it’s something that we could see, if it’s something that we already have?
It is not hope, and it requires no faith. God is not in the business of building up a hopeless and faithless generation.
He’s never asked of us to do anything on our own. We have never had a desire, an expectation, a goal where He stood back to watch us struggle in our strength to completion.
He comes close to help, to set up His strength within our weaknesses.
Where are your dried bones?
God will raise them up again.
Where is your darkness?
God will light it up.
Where is your emptiness?
God will cause you to overflow in those places.
Where are you? Where are you with the resolutions of this year? Where are you in relation to your five year plan?
Wherever you may find yourself as we approach the seventh month of this year, know that God wants to pick up where you left off.
God wants to be the one to bring His word that resides in you to completion.
He can certainly do it. It doesn't matter how long your dream has been dormant. God is the God of resurrection.
It doesn't matter how fragile and shapeless your desire is. God is the God of creation.
All you have to do is believe. Trust Him and His Word.
He is both willing and able.
Burying Your Talent?
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
I just keep thinking about the servant who buried the talent that his master entrusted to him.
His excuses are on repeat in my mind:
His excuses are on repeat in my mind:
- Master is a hard man
- Master reaps where he does not sow
- Master gathers where he scattered no seed
- Fear-- the servant was scared.
He hid that one talent under a heap of justification of why he did nothing with his master's talent.
I'm standing over the gravesite of the hidden talent, and I hear, "Even here, I can still do it."
God can still do it in the graveyard of broken dreams and forsaken goals.
He can, and He did.
Let's go through the list:
- Abraham was one-hundred years old when he had Isaac. We all know Sarah's womb was defunct at the age of ninety-nine. That alone should encourage us that impossibility is not an issue for God. He is able.
- Noah had no idea how to build an ark, but God instructed him-- God gave him the blueprints to make it happen.
- Gideon hid from the Philistines, but God called him a mighty warrior, who then led an army of 300 men that defeated forces more than ten times their size.
- Because of God's grace in his life, Joseph climbed the social ladder from the prison to the palace.
- The walls of Jericho, the most fortified town of that time, came down with shouts of praise from an otherwise ill-equipped people.
- John the Baptist had no Instagram, no Facebook live feed and no Twitter following. In the desert, he just had his voice to bring about repentance in Israel, and the masses came.
Now that's just about 0.000000000000000009% of God's resume. He did so much more with the outcast and the overlooked.
And He's willing to do greater with you.
It's not complicated. Yes, it's hard, but the excuses that are holding you back, the reasons you think God cannot do it, are the very reasons why He wants to do it through you.
There is nothing (inward or outward) that can disqualify you from God's calling over your life; if there was, that would mean the cross is useless: Jesus would have died for nothing then.
But that's not the truth. His blood covers everything-- a multitude of sins and excuses.
You are free to do what He assigned you.
Even in the graveyard, under all the dirt and mess you've placed above your talent, God can and will do it here and now.
And I know that the excuses don't disappear. If they do, they come back more sinister, more warped than before, but God is not intimidated by them. Neither should you be.
If the servant was willing to not just acknowledge his justifications, but challenge them as well, those lies would have fallen away.
Maybe the Master's goodness would have been revealed to him if he took that one step. Maybe the servant would have noticed his Master's hand in places that he thought were void of the Master's workings. Maybe the fear of upsetting the Master would have gave way with the realization that remaining stagnant, living stuck pissed Him off so much more than making a mistake.
Excuses are reality until they are not.
When you take that first step you realize, "It's not as bad as I made it out to be."
Yea, you don't have the funds, but that's not your forever.
Yea, you aren't good enough now, but that's not your forever if you choose to invest in it anyway.
Yea, you have five followers, but if you keep typing, keep speaking, keep going that number can grow.
But you'll never know if you keep the talent buried; if you hide the light He's placed inside of you, the circumstances that keep you timid will not change.
What are you waiting for?
You're in the most perfect position; yes, knee deep in dirt is perfect. Water that talent with the Word of God. Feed it with your dedication and discipline. Let His light shine through it, and watch it grow.
Here, Now
Thursday, August 10, 2017
There is no other place than here, there is no other time than now that God wants to do a good work in you.
We love to believe that what God calls us to do couldn't possibly begin where we are right now. Compared side to side, God's vision for our lives supersede our resources, our budgets, our circumstances, and our qualifications.
It's impossible from where we're standing, so we try to move ahead of God all in the name of helping God to get to a place where we are better able to handle His call.
But what we seem to forget is that where we stand is exactly the same place where God wants to begin the work in us.
In the bible, God met everyone exactly where they were and did wonderful things with them EXACTLY WHERE THEY WERE.
- Joseph, the favored son and hated brother, was forced into slavery but still came out on top
- David, the harp player for the king, was on the run as a fugitive from the king and still got the crown
- Moses, the Hebrew masquerading as the Egyptian prince, turned into a murderer but still became a deliverer
All because God simply chose them. They had no resume that would get them hired in the earthly realm. If they would have run for their destined position, man would have told them no.
But God said yes because He knew what their resumes and budgets didn't show. He knew what their circumstances tried to keep quiet about. He knew what their resources lied about.
He knew that they were able because He was the one to place that gift inside of them in the first place.
God was the one to give Joseph his dreams.
God was the one to anoint David king.
God was the one to give Moses the burning desire to deliver Israel.
It didn't matter what anyone else said because God had already said yes to them before the foundations of the earth were laid down.
God doesn't need you to be anyone else but who you are, who He created you to be.
He knew your hang-ups, your insecurities, your fears, and He said yes to you.
God said yes to you in that dry place, in that quiet place, in that inactive place. He said yes to you as you. He wants no one else but you.
And if you would just trust in that, that He wants you, God will do amazing things through you because the world needs you just the way you are.
We're waiting for you.
Joyful Beginning
Thursday, August 3, 2017
There is joy in the beginning. There has to be if God rejoices when the work begins.
But His joy doesn't translate so well to us. While He's excited that the capstone is being set, we are already envisioning the completed structure. So much so that when we look up and realize that we're still in the process of becoming, we're still under construction, we're still not there yet, we get frustrated, and the wrath from not being at the finish line zaps the grace for the muddy middle.
Or sometimes we don't even begin because the time it would take to become is a waste in our eyes- especially if we can find a short cut through the awkward beginning and the mundane middle.
We just want to BE already. We don't want to be under wraps. We don't want to be growing.
We want to be the sky-scraper, not the skeletal framework. We want to be the rose bush, not the seed. We want to be the masterpiece NOW.
But it doesn't work like that. Even the earth- as massive as it is now- followed the basic rules. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. There is no other way around this order.
Each master was once an amateur, a beginner, a novice, who had no clue what to do but began anyway in the spot they found themselves in- no matter how inconvenient, how bare, how small their spot was.
They started with what they had and grew from that. And as they grew, doors opened up and resources flowed in to match their growing talent.
But it wouldn't have happened if they didn't commit to begin each day that came their way.
The novelty (or for some people, trepidation) of the beginning wears off as the middle settles in and discourages some from their destination.
But you have to remember that you're closer than you were a day, a week, a month, a year ago. You're closer than you were.
And I guess that's where the joy comes in. When you set your foot down and say "I'm becoming an author" or "I'm moving to Los Angeles" or "I'm opening up a bakery" or whatever is screaming inside your heart right now to be brought out, when you set your foot down in determination, with commitment, you are one step closer than you were.
Yea, you just started but that capstone marks a new chapter in your life.
Celebrate that each day because those steps bring you closer to where you want to be.
And think about it- God who is omniscient, who knows the end in the beginning, is the same One who is at the beginning with you, celebrating. He's happy that you started. He's not at the end, at the finish line, tapping his foot, waiting impatiently for you.
He is with you from the very beginning. He's in step with you, excited as you unfold in the journey.
But His joy doesn't translate so well to us. While He's excited that the capstone is being set, we are already envisioning the completed structure. So much so that when we look up and realize that we're still in the process of becoming, we're still under construction, we're still not there yet, we get frustrated, and the wrath from not being at the finish line zaps the grace for the muddy middle.
Or sometimes we don't even begin because the time it would take to become is a waste in our eyes- especially if we can find a short cut through the awkward beginning and the mundane middle.
We just want to BE already. We don't want to be under wraps. We don't want to be growing.
We want to be the sky-scraper, not the skeletal framework. We want to be the rose bush, not the seed. We want to be the masterpiece NOW.
But it doesn't work like that. Even the earth- as massive as it is now- followed the basic rules. There is a beginning, a middle and an end. There is no other way around this order.
Each master was once an amateur, a beginner, a novice, who had no clue what to do but began anyway in the spot they found themselves in- no matter how inconvenient, how bare, how small their spot was.
They started with what they had and grew from that. And as they grew, doors opened up and resources flowed in to match their growing talent.
But it wouldn't have happened if they didn't commit to begin each day that came their way.
The novelty (or for some people, trepidation) of the beginning wears off as the middle settles in and discourages some from their destination.
But you have to remember that you're closer than you were a day, a week, a month, a year ago. You're closer than you were.
And I guess that's where the joy comes in. When you set your foot down and say "I'm becoming an author" or "I'm moving to Los Angeles" or "I'm opening up a bakery" or whatever is screaming inside your heart right now to be brought out, when you set your foot down in determination, with commitment, you are one step closer than you were.
Yea, you just started but that capstone marks a new chapter in your life.
Celebrate that each day because those steps bring you closer to where you want to be.
And think about it- God who is omniscient, who knows the end in the beginning, is the same One who is at the beginning with you, celebrating. He's happy that you started. He's not at the end, at the finish line, tapping his foot, waiting impatiently for you.
He is with you from the very beginning. He's in step with you, excited as you unfold in the journey.
Mini Bites 43.0
Thursday, June 29, 2017
In hope he believed against hope...
Romans 4:18
Abraham had no child of his own when God said that he'll be the father of many nations.
It didn't make sense to Abraham because he and his wife were past the child-bearing age.
There was no hope in his circumstances, and he was resigned to the fact because he considered his servant as his heir.
In the natural, to hope for a child at the age of seventy-five did not make sense. Yet, in the certainty of that bleak space, God spoke into Abraham's reality and said, "I will make you into a father of many nations."
In that dark place, a promise glowed.
His circumstances didn't change; God's word made no sense. They were still the oldest couple around the block. The clock didn't turn back. When Hagar gave birth to Ishmael, Abraham's first son, God said no. The promise will be fulfilled through Sarah, his wife as He planned it, knowing full well about the situation of Sarah's out-of-work womb.
His circumstances didn't line up with what God said, so Abraham did the only thing he could do.
He rested inside the promise. He rested in what God said.
He planted himself in the only place that made sense: God's word.
That's what you have to do. When the world says no, but God says yes, you plant and cover yourself in His "Yes."
You hold on to His word when nothing else agrees because His word will come back, and it will come back fulfilled.
When your hope (the likely hope, the possible hope) in the natural runs out, this is when the impossible hope rises up to fill you.
The hope that stands against all sensibility.
The hope that opposes the facts.
The hope that says yes to the impossible.
When it shows up, hold on to the hope that is found in God's word.
You hold on to His word when nothing else agrees because His word will come back, and it will come back fulfilled.
When your hope (the likely hope, the possible hope) in the natural runs out, this is when the impossible hope rises up to fill you.
The hope that stands against all sensibility.
The hope that opposes the facts.
The hope that says yes to the impossible.
When it shows up, hold on to the hope that is found in God's word.
Mini Bites 42.0
Thursday, June 15, 2017
There's the sensible kind of hope:
the hope that is most likely to win,
the hope that stands a chance,
the hope that makes a whole lotta sense.
This is the hope that you and everyone
around you can see.
Then there's the impossible hope.
The hope that rises up as the other kind is
buried beneath the odds,
The hope that has no type of sense
That has you snatching up all your marbles
Otherwise you'll be left feeling crazy,
and you don't want to be crazy.
No, you want to be like everyone else.
Sensible and attainable.
You want nothing to do with the hope that sees
beyond- beyond all the dwindling chances
and still hopes.
Because that kind of hope holds some serious standards,
and you cannot settle.
It won't let you settle; it won't set you down.
It waits, and you
You wait with it.
You two will wait.
Until the answer comes.
Required
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
As I end one semester and begin the next, the word requirement echoes in my mind. I currently teach Freshman Composition, a class required for students who are unable to opt out of it by testing. And as expected, some were somewhat reluctant to sit in a class that they felt was unnecessary in the overall arc of their future career.
And I don’t blame them. I was once a student, and even now as a teacher, I find myself hesitant to be in the classroom because I was not supposed to be here. I had plans but those plans have changed quite a bit since sitting at a student desk myself.
Some days, I would rather be anywhere else— but here I am, the shy, quiet girl teaching other people to write, which places me in a very uncomfortable position outside of my comfort zone: leading people in a skill that I’m not too confident in.
And the word requirement echoes in my mind: I may not know why, but I need to be here.
Although I don’t see how teaching fits into my vision for my life, I have to trust that it does fit into God’s. I have to trust that teaching isn’t a dreaded detour but an essential piece of the good plan that God has over my life.
And with that trust and with that faith, I can dig deep in the unexpected, uncomfortable place and receive all that God has for me here, now.
Where do you find yourself in this season? Does it seem out of step of where you envisioned yourself to be? Does it seem to be outside what you’re comfortable with?
Wherever you find yourself, remember that God is with you in this moment, and He won’t waste it. He will make this moment good like He promises in His word.
Whatever required season you are in, whether it’s a season of waiting or a season of challenges, God is with you, building something beautiful for the next one.
So do your best, dig deep and step out. God will make it good.
As I end one semester and begin the next, the word requirement echoes in my mind. I currently teach Freshman Composition, a class required for students who are unable to opt out of it by testing. And as expected, some were somewhat reluctant to sit in a class that they felt was unnecessary in the overall arc of their future career.
And I don’t blame them. I was once a student, and even now as a teacher, I find myself hesitant to be in the classroom because I was not supposed to be here. I had plans but those plans have changed quite a bit since sitting at a student desk myself.
Some days, I would rather be anywhere else— but here I am, the shy, quiet girl teaching other people to write, which places me in a very uncomfortable position outside of my comfort zone: leading people in a skill that I’m not too confident in.
And the word requirement echoes in my mind: I may not know why, but I need to be here.
Although I don’t see how teaching fits into my vision for my life, I have to trust that it does fit into God’s. I have to trust that teaching isn’t a dreaded detour but an essential piece of the good plan that God has over my life.
And with that trust and with that faith, I can dig deep in the unexpected, uncomfortable place and receive all that God has for me here, now.
Where do you find yourself in this season? Does it seem out of step of where you envisioned yourself to be? Does it seem to be outside what you’re comfortable with?
Wherever you find yourself, remember that God is with you in this moment, and He won’t waste it. He will make this moment good like He promises in His word.
Whatever required season you are in, whether it’s a season of waiting or a season of challenges, God is with you, building something beautiful for the next one.
So do your best, dig deep and step out. God will make it good.
Throwback
Monday, May 8, 2017
This past semester, I've felt like an impostor. I stood in front of four classes and I felt exposed; I couldn't hide anymore: I was the teacher.
When I was younger, I was a performer (I danced and I sang), and I don't remember how or why, but I cocooned myself into this identity of shyness and of passiveness and of fear. Every part of me wishes to pinpoint the reason why I am the way I am now. But here I am, at the end of my first semester, feeling the rawness of disappointment, of relief, of expectation.
This wasn't part of my plan. God and I have wrestled with where He has placed me. He knows me- because He made me- He knows I want to hide.
And He laughs- I know He finds me humorous- because here I am with no place to blend in, to disappear, to go unnoticed. Being a black woman did not help either.
I stood in front of four classes and felt like an impostor. I am a writer (every time I say that, I cringe- it sounds so self-indulgent and egotistic), my background is in science and some standard had ingrained itself within me, claiming I'm still not enough.
But I had to stand. I had to stand in insecurity, in perceived lack, in frustration, in this struggle of who I am and who I thought I had to be. I had to stand because I gave my word and standing paid the bills.
I had to stand and fight the learned instinct to run. And I ran- because I am good at that- but I came back and stood.
Next year, I'll stand again because this is where He has me: here, now. I am here now.
Will you stand? Will you stand in this chatterbox of a world and speak what you see? Will you stand against your instinct to stay quiet and hidden and speak the truth the world desperately needs? Will you stand against the odds, against the majority, against yourself and usher in the change that can set the captives free? Will you stand? And if you ran, will you come back and stand in the here, in the now?
It's easy to convince yourself that you are an imposter, that you don't know anything, that you have nothing to contribute. SO EASY. I've been doing it for most of my life. But the pain of staying quiet is greater than the pain of stepping out.
Do not stay quiet. I need your voice. We all need your voice.
And it's ok if it's a little unconfident whisper. It's ok if you're still learning: you were never meant to arrive as a complete, unburdened package. You are a process. You're a universe, expanding and evolving. Honor that: there is no shame with growing.
"Shame off you."
Come back, come stand and please, come speak.
When I was younger, I was a performer (I danced and I sang), and I don't remember how or why, but I cocooned myself into this identity of shyness and of passiveness and of fear. Every part of me wishes to pinpoint the reason why I am the way I am now. But here I am, at the end of my first semester, feeling the rawness of disappointment, of relief, of expectation.
This wasn't part of my plan. God and I have wrestled with where He has placed me. He knows me- because He made me- He knows I want to hide.
And He laughs- I know He finds me humorous- because here I am with no place to blend in, to disappear, to go unnoticed. Being a black woman did not help either.
I stood in front of four classes and felt like an impostor. I am a writer (every time I say that, I cringe- it sounds so self-indulgent and egotistic), my background is in science and some standard had ingrained itself within me, claiming I'm still not enough.
But I had to stand. I had to stand in insecurity, in perceived lack, in frustration, in this struggle of who I am and who I thought I had to be. I had to stand because I gave my word and standing paid the bills.
I had to stand and fight the learned instinct to run. And I ran- because I am good at that- but I came back and stood.
Next year, I'll stand again because this is where He has me: here, now. I am here now.
Will you stand? Will you stand in this chatterbox of a world and speak what you see? Will you stand against your instinct to stay quiet and hidden and speak the truth the world desperately needs? Will you stand against the odds, against the majority, against yourself and usher in the change that can set the captives free? Will you stand? And if you ran, will you come back and stand in the here, in the now?
It's easy to convince yourself that you are an imposter, that you don't know anything, that you have nothing to contribute. SO EASY. I've been doing it for most of my life. But the pain of staying quiet is greater than the pain of stepping out.
Do not stay quiet. I need your voice. We all need your voice.
And it's ok if it's a little unconfident whisper. It's ok if you're still learning: you were never meant to arrive as a complete, unburdened package. You are a process. You're a universe, expanding and evolving. Honor that: there is no shame with growing.
"Shame off you."
Come back, come stand and please, come speak.
There's A Cost. Count It.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
Philippians 3:7
The personhood of Jesus is offensive if you think about it. Like truly offensive. I mean that's why nearly all the teachers and Pharisees plotted to kill Him.
Jesus threatened their very livelihood with the Good News.
Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And He chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.
1 Corinthians 1:27
The cross to this day- two millennia later- still gets people defensive and up in arms. You can't add or subtract from what the cross did-what it represents for all time.
When you look at the cross, you realize that there's a cost in seeing the bloodied wood. There's a cost in seeing the offending tree on which Jesus hung.
The cost hits you square in the face, and before you can even soothe the bruise of its truth that somehow pierced your heart, it asks you- it has the audacity to ask you- will you consider it? Will you count its cost in your life? Will you change your life in light of its cost?
Will you admit that you're in need of the Savior?
Will you admit that despite your best efforts all you can produce are filthy rags of righteousness?
Will you admit your desperate need of the Lord?
Will you admit that you really don't have the slightest clue as to how to run your own life?
Will you admit that the cross was for you?
Not many want to admit that. Even some Christians have trouble and stumble when dealing with the cross.
No one wants to admit that they do not have all the answers, that they're a highly functioning mess on their good days. THEIR GOOD DAYS!
No one wants to disclose their insecurities, their doubts, their- gasp- sins because I mean who wants to be vulnerable, to be honest, to be humble enough to accept a gift as great as the cross?
Because it's true. Everything- all that you've worked for, all those goals, all the things you've chased because the world taught you that they were valuable- it all has to be counted as a loss in order to gain the cross.
Everything, not just some thing(s), but all of it, all of you has to change in light of the cross.
Can you grasp its severity? Do you want to?
In Acts 9, Saul had every reason to be confident in life. There was a standard, and he met every one of its benchmarks.
- Circumcised ✔
- Israelite, Hebrew, from the tribe of Benjamin ✔✔ ✔
- Pharisee ✔✔
- Persecutor of the newfound church of Jesus Christ ✔✔✔✔✔
- Righteous and blameless by law ✔✔✔✔
Like many during his time, Saul knew the law intimately and based his life on its precepts. He was ruthless in his pursuit of the Church because he was convinced that these followers were dangerously led astray.
Would we do any less when Someone comes in and says that all we have built- the monuments, the empires- all the accolades we have collected were worthless?
Saul knew that this Church didn't reflect the God who gave Moses the law- the law that he upheld- so he took up the mantle to persecute those who followed the Way of Jesus.
And he was on the way to bind some in Damascus in order to ship them back to Jerusalem, when Jesus Himself intercepted the persistent Pharisee.
Jesus Himself, the One to which the law and the prophets point, interrupted Saul on his mission, and Saul had no idea who He was.
Remember, Saul spent his life earning one notch after another on his belt. He was high on his horse- on his way to arrest some Christians- thinking he was doing the Lord's work, thinking he knew God's heart on the matter when all of a sudden, in a flash of light, Saul meets God's Heart and realizes that he didn't know Him at all.
Jesus walked in and rebuked Saul for his actions, giving him more than a glimpse of what confidence in the flesh got him: utter, terrifying darkness.
The next three days, in that darkness, Saul saw clearly what living by society's standard and by the tradition of men got him: empires full of sandcastles and notoriety for towers of Babel.
Within one breath, Jesus wrenched apart Saul's world and left him reeling in the wreckage caused by the cross.
And all that was left at the end were the same questions that the cross asks of us all.
Will we continue with business as usual?
Will we remain mute and blind to the hurting around us?
Will we settle in this comfort the world gives us or will we take His in?
Will we pretend that the worship, the services, the traditions done by our strength alone brings us closer to God?
Two thousand years ago, the cross told us- the "self-sufficient" beings- that we could never bridge the gap to God on our own. We need help: a Savior. There is no blueprint, no law, no tradition that we can take up on our own to fix ourselves.
We need help.
So in the shadow of the cross, there's a choice. With Jesus, there will always be a choice.
Will we turn our backs on the cross and toil in vain?
Or will we embrace the cross with all its implications?
Meditate 1.0
Monday, December 12, 2016
Sometimes, we can get stuck in a rut where our motions run through autopilot cycles.
In that limitless moment of the mundane we can forget: forget where we've been, where we are going, where we are.
We forget who we are and why we are in this moment in the first place.
And I'm asking for us to wake up. Don't let the ordinary, the run of the mill lull us asleep.
We need to be aware and awake especially now. The enemy walks around with the intent to devour us; he is on the hunt to destroy us. Imagine his glee to find us blind, deaf and mute to everything around us. What easy prey we have made ourselves to be.
Wake up and realize that we are made for more.
Wake up and remember that we are citizens of a kingdom not of this world.
Wake up and recognize the mandate that God placed inside us.
God made us His image-bearers. We are the world's conduits of God, direct staircases into His presence and vessels of His goodness.
When we pour out, Heaven becomes a reality here on earth.
Change won't come unless we do. The culture will not change unless we change.
Wake up and fix your eyes on heaven. Change won't come if we stare at what's around us; it only comes when we are connected to the original intent found in Jesus and walk, stumble- hey, if crawling is all that's manageable, then crawl- through it in our here and now.
Walk through heaven here on earth.
Heaven is not a far-off concept. Eternity is closer than the air we breathe in. God didn't create us to twiddle our fingers and dwindle our time. A God-sized calling is on our lives. We need to get active with the power that's already activated within us.
With God, we are able!
But first we have to turn our minds onto the things above. We have to meditate on the reality we want to usher in.
Because we cannot be a sign of something we aren't first immersed in.
Despite our best intentions, we cannot lead people where we have yet to enter.
We cannot reflect what we don't first behold.
Fortunately, God has given us a way to take in His glory: His Son, Jesus. If we lock our eyes on Him and think about all He has done and all He will do, then His courage, His goodness, His love will flow out of us.
Before we can do, we have to be and before we can be, we have to think.
Heaven is not a far-off concept. Eternity is closer than the air we breathe in. God didn't create us to twiddle our fingers and dwindle our time. A God-sized calling is on our lives. We need to get active with the power that's already activated within us.
With God, we are able!
But first we have to turn our minds onto the things above. We have to meditate on the reality we want to usher in.
Because we cannot be a sign of something we aren't first immersed in.
Despite our best intentions, we cannot lead people where we have yet to enter.
We cannot reflect what we don't first behold.
Fortunately, God has given us a way to take in His glory: His Son, Jesus. If we lock our eyes on Him and think about all He has done and all He will do, then His courage, His goodness, His love will flow out of us.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9
Before we can do, we have to be and before we can be, we have to think.
Effective change happens within. It starts with us first and only then will we be agents of sustainable change.
We need to start with our thinking, start with what's going on between our ears. So meditate. Don't be passive with the thoughts and words running through your mind. Capture every thought and place it against His truth. Can it stand? Does it hold up? If not, throw it out and replace it with God's word.
And feast on His word. Fill yourself with the wisdom within the pages of the bible so that you can recognize when something is not right. God has equipped us with tools to empower us. Let's jump into the Word and see what He says.
The following is what happens when you're aware of what's being said. When you actively listen, His truth comes in and teaches you, leads you, reminds you and fills you up again.
But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. David said about Him:
I saw the Lord always before me.
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
Acts 2:24-25
It was impossible for death to keep its hold on Jesus. The grave was borrowed.
Underground, the enemy celebrated, thinking that he won. But Joseph's tomb was a loan.
And three days later, He rose from the dead, making a spectacle of those who triumphed in darkness.
Jesus is ALIVE!
♬The veil tore before You♬
While He died our death on the cross, miles away, inside the city's gates, inside the temple, the curtain that hung between us and the presence of the Holy of Holies tore from the top to the bottom.
When Jesus uttered "It is finished," those words, along with His blood, ushered in a new covenant, a new era. There was no longer a chasm between God and those who bore His image. No!
Jesus became the bridge that brought together man and God once again. Forever!
He did what we could never do after centuries of behavior control.
He made us home to the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. He made us clean; Jesus cleansed us and paved the way to God's throne.
...since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:19-22
♬You silenced the boast of sin and grave♬
“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:55-57
Sin separates us from the presence of God. The minute our predecessors in Eden took a bite of the forbidden fruit, we couldn't approach God. To have a relationship, to be connected with Him was difficult.
But the blood soaked cross swallowed the consequence of sin. Jesus took on our penalty and broke us free from everything that could ever separate us from heaven. Everything.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39
♬The heavens are roaring
With praise of Your glory
For You are raised to life again♬
♬You have no rival
You have no equal
Now and forever God You reign♬
♬Yours is the kingdom
Yours is the glory
Yours is the name above all names♬
Acts 4:12 is one of my favorite verses. It encapsulates the Good News and its radical power.
"Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved."
The great divide is healed and sealed in the personhood of Jesus. Once we accept Christ into our hearts and confess with our lips that He is Savior and Lord, salvation is a guarantee: we can't be separated from God's presence any longer. Jesus has paid the price; He gave up His own life to redeem us from the curse of sin and death. And with His sacrifice, God has subjected everything in heaven and on (and under) earth under His authority.
Nothing, not one circumstance, can uproot and steal His power.
There is not one district outside of His jurisdiction.
When Jesus speaks peace, chaos has to leave.
When Jesus speaks light, darkness disappears.
When Jesus speaks healing, diseases have to flee.
"...at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
Philippians 2:10-11
♬What a powerful name it is♬
The Holy Spirit that raised Christ from the dead finds it's home in you.
With Jesus, you can do anything.
The Importance of Discipleship
Monday, December 5, 2016
Leaving the disciples behind, Jesus ascended into Heaven with a promise wrapped inside the Great Commission:
“Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation… And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name, they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people and they will get well.” (Mark 16:15, 17-18)
For the past three years, the disciples have lived with Jesus. They walked with, worked with and watched how Jesus did the miracles He became known for.
He even equipped them and released them to cast out demons and heal the sick way.
And it worked! The outcast, the uneducated, the disdained, the misfits, Jesus’ closest friends were able to do the miraculous too!
But, for a little while, the disciples stood frozen on that hill, after Jesus disappeared behind the clouds, and probably wondered, How, Jesus? How are we going to do this when You’re not here?
We’re probably wondering the same thing, if we’re willing to be honest with one another. We’re most likely standing at the foot of a mountain, of a bill, of a sickness with another promise that says if we have a mustard seed of faith, we can tell this problem to move. But we’re stuck, petrified, thinking that we possibly can’t do this alone.
Fortunately, we’re not. Once we, like the disciples, have accepted and declared Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord, Jesus sends His Spirit to us.
The Holy Spirit is our assurance that we are now sons and daughters of God. Not only that, the Spirit is also our companion and guide. If we listen to Him, the Spirit will conform us into Jesus’ image.
We won’t only have the belief that we are Jesus’ followers, or His disciples, but we’ll look and act like it if we submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit’s promptings.
Remember the Holy Spirit is the same that rose our Savior from the dead.
And that same Spirit that robbed the grave and defied death is now inside us as a deposit, as a treasure, as a seal that can never be broken or stolen.
No matter the background, the education, the past, the Holy Spirit can work us into the image of Christ, into His followers. He will teach us to do what Jesus did and say what Jesus said. In Him, we will have the authority and power to go out and share the good news, to go out and heal the broken, to go out and bring the light into the darkness.
In Him, we can become disciples of Jesus.
But we have to spend time with the Holy Spirit. He has many gifts for us. He holds so much insight and truth for any situation we are in because the Spirit only gives what He first receives from Jesus. And there is no lack in Jesus.
When He conquered sin, God set everything under His feet. Because Jesus has total dominion, so do we.
The only way to receive is to make room for the Holy Spirit. There are many ways to do so such as studying the bible, worship and praise, and solitude and fasting; but whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to invite the Holy Spirit.
Jesus once said, as His disciples, we will do more than what He did while on earth.
So we will, with Him.
“Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation… And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name, they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people and they will get well.” (Mark 16:15, 17-18)
For the past three years, the disciples have lived with Jesus. They walked with, worked with and watched how Jesus did the miracles He became known for.
He even equipped them and released them to cast out demons and heal the sick way.
And it worked! The outcast, the uneducated, the disdained, the misfits, Jesus’ closest friends were able to do the miraculous too!
But, for a little while, the disciples stood frozen on that hill, after Jesus disappeared behind the clouds, and probably wondered, How, Jesus? How are we going to do this when You’re not here?
We’re probably wondering the same thing, if we’re willing to be honest with one another. We’re most likely standing at the foot of a mountain, of a bill, of a sickness with another promise that says if we have a mustard seed of faith, we can tell this problem to move. But we’re stuck, petrified, thinking that we possibly can’t do this alone.
Fortunately, we’re not. Once we, like the disciples, have accepted and declared Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord, Jesus sends His Spirit to us.
The Holy Spirit is our assurance that we are now sons and daughters of God. Not only that, the Spirit is also our companion and guide. If we listen to Him, the Spirit will conform us into Jesus’ image.
We won’t only have the belief that we are Jesus’ followers, or His disciples, but we’ll look and act like it if we submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit’s promptings.
Remember the Holy Spirit is the same that rose our Savior from the dead.
And that same Spirit that robbed the grave and defied death is now inside us as a deposit, as a treasure, as a seal that can never be broken or stolen.
No matter the background, the education, the past, the Holy Spirit can work us into the image of Christ, into His followers. He will teach us to do what Jesus did and say what Jesus said. In Him, we will have the authority and power to go out and share the good news, to go out and heal the broken, to go out and bring the light into the darkness.
In Him, we can become disciples of Jesus.
But we have to spend time with the Holy Spirit. He has many gifts for us. He holds so much insight and truth for any situation we are in because the Spirit only gives what He first receives from Jesus. And there is no lack in Jesus.
When He conquered sin, God set everything under His feet. Because Jesus has total dominion, so do we.
The only way to receive is to make room for the Holy Spirit. There are many ways to do so such as studying the bible, worship and praise, and solitude and fasting; but whatever you choose to do, don’t forget to invite the Holy Spirit.
Jesus once said, as His disciples, we will do more than what He did while on earth.
So we will, with Him.
Grace
Monday, November 28, 2016
We are finite beings. We have limits, and we make mistakes. Sometimes, if not all the time, we are not able to do what God has called us to do.
No one knew that better than Moses.
In his youth, Moses killed and buried an Egyptian who tormented one of his own, a Hebrew. Then his deed was uncovered and the Pharaoh wanted him dead. So Moses ran away and spent the next forty years in the desert.
And that’s where God, in a burning bush, met with Moses.
In a dry place, outside of his native home, with neither palace nor accolade, watching over sheep that weren’t even his, Moses met with the living God who asked him to do something way above his pay grade.
“Go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:10)
After that command, Moses probably took a step back, looked around and realized only miles of sand and a herd of sheep surrounded him and the burning bush.
It was certain that God was talking to him, but Moses was equally convinced that God had the wrong person. So he decided to correct Him.
“Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (verse 11)
We do the same thing, don’t we?
We know that God has called us and asked specifically for us to accomplish a task, but we take in the huge order He’s calling us to fill and make the unanimous decision that Someone made a drastic mistake.
So like Moses, we ask, “But who are we that You would ask such a thing of us?”
And God replies to us with the same answer He gave Moses thousands of years ago: “I will be with you.” (verse 12)
But I don’t have enough?
I will be with you.
But I don’t know anyone?
I will be with you.
But I didn’t come with the right thing.
I will be with you.
God doesn’t look at our resumes, our skills or our incapabilities. When He asks us to do something, He’d already counted the cost. There is no need for us to go over the plan with a fine-tooth comb. He already knows what it will take for us to do what He’s asked of us.
While we look at the gaps in His plans (He wants me to do what now?), God sees Himself filling the gaping holes in us so that we are empowered to do what He said.
We’re right when we say that we can’t but God absolutely can. We should never forget that.
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
Even in our mistakes, and in our wrongs and in our lack, God certainly can.
That is the power of grace. Grace doesn’t hold us to the level of perfection we so desperately cling ourselves to. Grace doesn’t expect us to figure it out on our own and do it in our own strength. Grace doesn’t hold our past against us.
How can grace do that when He already died for our sins?
Instead, grace comes in and fills us to completion. Grace comes in and becomes our strength. Grace comes in and shines bright in our jars of clay.
There are always two sides of a situation. Like a coin, we can flip the perspective. We can either focus on the missing parts and talk ourselves out of God’s plan. Or we can trust His grace and join Him.
No one knew that better than Moses.
In his youth, Moses killed and buried an Egyptian who tormented one of his own, a Hebrew. Then his deed was uncovered and the Pharaoh wanted him dead. So Moses ran away and spent the next forty years in the desert.
And that’s where God, in a burning bush, met with Moses.
In a dry place, outside of his native home, with neither palace nor accolade, watching over sheep that weren’t even his, Moses met with the living God who asked him to do something way above his pay grade.
“Go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” (Exodus 3:10)
After that command, Moses probably took a step back, looked around and realized only miles of sand and a herd of sheep surrounded him and the burning bush.
It was certain that God was talking to him, but Moses was equally convinced that God had the wrong person. So he decided to correct Him.
“Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (verse 11)
We do the same thing, don’t we?
We know that God has called us and asked specifically for us to accomplish a task, but we take in the huge order He’s calling us to fill and make the unanimous decision that Someone made a drastic mistake.
So like Moses, we ask, “But who are we that You would ask such a thing of us?”
And God replies to us with the same answer He gave Moses thousands of years ago: “I will be with you.” (verse 12)
But I don’t have enough?
I will be with you.
But I don’t know anyone?
I will be with you.
But I didn’t come with the right thing.
I will be with you.
God doesn’t look at our resumes, our skills or our incapabilities. When He asks us to do something, He’d already counted the cost. There is no need for us to go over the plan with a fine-tooth comb. He already knows what it will take for us to do what He’s asked of us.
While we look at the gaps in His plans (He wants me to do what now?), God sees Himself filling the gaping holes in us so that we are empowered to do what He said.
We’re right when we say that we can’t but God absolutely can. We should never forget that.
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)
Even in our mistakes, and in our wrongs and in our lack, God certainly can.
That is the power of grace. Grace doesn’t hold us to the level of perfection we so desperately cling ourselves to. Grace doesn’t expect us to figure it out on our own and do it in our own strength. Grace doesn’t hold our past against us.
How can grace do that when He already died for our sins?
Instead, grace comes in and fills us to completion. Grace comes in and becomes our strength. Grace comes in and shines bright in our jars of clay.
There are always two sides of a situation. Like a coin, we can flip the perspective. We can either focus on the missing parts and talk ourselves out of God’s plan. Or we can trust His grace and join Him.
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