It's been two years since I've made a guy friend.
No, I'm not in a convent, I just get mute, deaf and dumb when I am surrounded by guys.
And it's so frustrating because I used to be a guy's girl...
I was one of the guys. I could make them laugh. I could dish it as well as they served it.
But now I keep them at arm's length, barely acknowledging them at all.
And I understand my current tactics. I'm in survival/defense/protection mode because before, I fell hard for some of my guy friends.
I mean really hard, like concrete hard, like I not only broke my nail hard,
but I broke every bone in my body hard.
There have been too many times when my heart ran ahead of me and planned out our "future" when the guy never thought of me in a romantic way.
There have been too many times that I misinterpreted the twinkle in his eyes and the way he held me.
There have been too many times I cried over a guy because it turned out he was interested in someone else.
So right now, I keep them far, like to the ends of the earth far. And I am not exaggerating... It's gotten really bad.
Sometimes, when a guy catches me on a good day, we click and we laugh and share some jokes. But the next day, if not the next hour, I give him the coldest of shoulder that must have originated from the North Pole.
My smile and sweet demeanor fool some people. I can be mean.
But I don't mean to. Not really, it's just that I know myself, I will fall. And why wouldn't I? The guys who become my friends, at times, are the type of man I would one day hope to have as my husband.
So, shutting it down in the friend department is the only way to stay safe, to keep my heart at bay...
Doesn't that sound familiar?
How many times have you taken yourself out of the game because you "knew" the outcome?
How many times have you refused to roll the dice because you "knew" your chances?
How many opportunities passed you by because you "knew" they were too good for you?
What happened to you for you to play it safe?
Because that's not the way Jesus wants you to live. You weren't meant to live from a place of fear.
But Jesus gets onto Peter's boat and asks him to try again.
Peter looks at Him and says, "I've been trying all day. There isn't anything out here."
Isn't it funny when Jesus asks us to do something that we've done thousands of times before as if there will be a different outcome?
I know for me when He asks, I look up at Him and say, "Haven't you been paying attention? I'm going nowhere with this. Why would I try again?"
Luckily Peter is not me and he does what Jesus asks of him. Although, he was at sea for the whole day and caught not one fish, he throws out his nets again.
Now, let's make a prediction: What's the probability of Peter catching a fish?
Slim to none if you consider what happened before.
But, that didn't happen. The logical choice didn't happen. The miraculous did.
Peter caught so much fish that his nets almost broke and he had to enlist the help of his friends in another boat to help him reel in the catch.
Peter, who had no two fish to rub together before, now filled up two boats that day to the brink of almost sinking.
What's the difference?
Jesus, of course.
When Jesus is in the midst of it, previous experiences are invalid. He can do something new for you.
Forget about the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19
I don't care if it's your first time or millionth time doing something, if Jesus is asking you to do it again, do it.
He won't steer you wrong. When He's calling you, it means that He has everything set up, so are you ready to take that first step?
Don't allow your past to hold you back and miss out on what God has for you.
He had no intentions for you to live in fear. No, He died so that you can have life to the fullest.
But you have to be open to His promptings and when He calls, you have to be willing to step forward.
Even when it looks foolish and doesn't make sense,
risk it.
God is so worth the risk.
